Remember: Donations of $10 or more get PluckyChicken.net bumper sticker and a thank you note that smells like my hair. And my hair smells really, really nice. Like unicorns shagging at sunrise in an enchanted forest. I’m not even kidding you right now. Don’t you want a PluckyChicken.net bumper sticker and my hair-smell? Don’t answer that. Just click on the Paypal button and let the magic take hold…
In related news, even my cat is off the wagon because when as a household you don’t make enough money to afford sausage for your beans and rice you might as well drink to everyone’s good health. Bottoms the fuck up, you nasty hookers.
I’ll be part of The Collinsport Historical Society’s Blog-A-Thon on June 22nd devoted to my personal Lord & Savior, Grayson Hall. Her cheekbones are so high that her cheeks appear to touch in the middle of her mouth, and that’s a good look for a woman with big sexy red hair and a voice that sounds like she’s been eating broken glass and sandpaper. Fuck yeah, Grayson Hall. I fucking love Dr. Hoffman and her crazy Dark Shadows pseudoscience. And I’m pretty sure I use the f-word twice as much as every other blogger participating and have only half the talent. It’s a recipe for the kind of intense Grayson Hall-centric appreciation that will echo in eternity. I’m sure they’ll want to revise her headstone to include direct quotations from my blog when it’s all said and done.
TAKE US ON HOME, DR. HOFFMAN!
GIVE ME ALL YO’ MONEY. I’ll share my shine.