Posted 7/18/2012 in m4w:

Honest swm seeking HONEST swf – 33 (wnc)

Hey ladies Im a 33swm seeking A 24-38 swf thats honest,head on straight, little bit of a wild side but not to wild,I love to go out drink a lil,dance,kareokee,shoot pool,beer pong,horse shoes,car shows,drag racing,If you are interested send me a msg and a pic and put your favorite vehicle in subject line.

Wow. The fact that you’re a 33 year old man who composes sentences at a 3rd grade level isn’t a big surprise. It’s the direct result of the lack of collective fucks we give about not sounding like our brains are made of fermented Frosted Mini Wheats and Mike’s Hard Lemomade, and if we’re not careful it’s going to ingrain itself in our DNA and then our dumbassery will be inherent.

No friend, it’s everything else about your ad that I find fascinating. Your inability to hit a space bar or form coherent thoughts isn’t what makes this ad special, so let’s shift fire. I recognize that there are some exquisitely tacky women in this world who would enjoy a round of beer pong after a romantic dinner, but most of us look at your laundry list of dive bar pastimes and think to ourselves, “WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?”

Desperation has driven you to Craigslist, and while it’s not the ass-end of the internet it isn’t exactly a place teeming with successful m4w love stories either, and maybe you’re desperate because you set your standards a little high with the whole “car shows and beer pong and man stuff” thing. Instead of firing off all the activities you’re into that most of the chicks in your audience will find less than appealing, how about you make a list of all the stuff you enjoy that won’t cause the average, reasonably attractive, moderately intelligent woman to recoil in horror. Set the bar just a hair lower and I betcha more horses will be able to clear the fence. You may still find that special lady who wants to shoot Jack and play horseshoes until the wee hours of the morning, but in the mean time maybe you should test drive a few gals who wouldn’t necessarily want to tag along while you bar hop on karaoke night. That’s how you spell karaoke, by the way.

I hope you find what you’re looking for and I hope she can hold her liquor.