I don’t have many truly redeeming qualities outside of being fearlessly topless and delightfully self-deprecating, which makes the fact that you guys are still reading my blog (and fapping shamelessly to my bikini photos) after over a year of phoned-in movie reviews and vicious attacks on unsuspecting Craigslist posters even more magical. We’re basically shitting rainbows together. And since you’ve already proven that you’re in this for the long haul (or at least the prospect that someday I might post full nudes and you want to be there the second they become available to the public) I figured I might as well appeal to your better nature and humbly ask that in this year’s Mountain Xpress Best of WNC Survey when offered the opportunity to choose your favorite blog, you remember that time I exposed the truth about the bathrooms at Denny’s or when I warned you not to date crazy women like a good friend should. We’ve had some intense bonding experiences, you and I. Like when I shined a bright light on Facebook’s white-chicks-and-gang-signs conpiracy and then ate Michelle Bachmann for lunch. Look back fondly on the wonderful times we’ve had together and vote for me. Vote for me so motherfucking hard.